I Spoke to a Sleep Scientist - Here's Why You Keep Waking at 3am
Lying awake at 3 am is one of those rare subjects that can turn a room full of strangers into a support group. Someone will inevitably nod knowingly. The staring into the darkness. The thoughts that, in daylight, would probably seem considerably less urgent. Personally, I think there’s something eerily uncomfortable about being awake at that particular time, when the rest of the world is quiet, and all that seems to be awake are your thoughts - and, if you’re unlucky enough, the faint smell of your own anxiety hanging in the air.
Now, being raised by a mildly woo-woo mother, I was told that 3 am was the “witching hour”, which perhaps explains why I’ve always had the slightly dramatic belief that nothing good comes from being awake at 3 am. It is, after all, a time when even the most rational brain can start giving irrational thoughts a surprisingly generous platform. But having discovered among my own circle that more and more of us seem to be waking at this particular hour, I wanted to investigate what’s actually going on. Is it our bodies - or our brains - trying to signal something to us? Or is 3 am simply when the wheels come off the wagon of our otherwise carefully curated sleep?
Is it stress, hormones, alcohol, changing sleep architecture, or simply the inevitable consequence of getting older? So I took it to the experts: sleep scientist Wendy Troxel and longevity specialist Kayla Barnes-Lentz to find out what our 3 am wake-ups might actually be telling us - and whether we should be listening.
The REAL science behind your 3am wake-up
First things first: there may be nothing particularly sinister about waking up at 3 am. Sleep scientist Dr Wendy Troxel wants to make it clear - waking briefly during the night is relatively normal. "As we move towards morning, sleep becomes lighter and more REM-heavy, which makes us more likely to wake up and, crucially, notice that we’ve woken up. So much for the witching hour."
The real problem, it seems, is what happens once you realise you’re awake. Because there’s waking up, and then there’s WAKING UP: checking the clock, doing the maths on how many hours you have left, mentally drafting tomorrow’s apology for not “being on the ball” due to a poor night’s sleep. Troxel says these thoughts and behaviours can actually increase our physiological and emotional arousal, “essentially teaching the brain that 3 am is a very, very good time to be alert. Which, frankly, feels like a fairly unhelpful piece of evolutionary programming.”
It also brings us to one of the internet’s favourite pieces of 3am lore: cortisol. Specifically, the supposedly inevitable “cortisol spike” that sends us bolt upright in the early hours. Troxel is sceptical. "Yes, cortisol naturally rises towards morning, but the idea that a rogue 3 am cortisol surge is the reason you’re awake is far more simplistic than the science suggests. It has also been enthusiastically embraced by wellness influencers - often, rather conveniently, alongside a supplement, powder or protocol designed to “fix” it."
The actual picture is considerably messier, and rather more interesting. Stress can make sleep more fragile, says Troxel, while longevity specialist Kayla Barnes-Lentz points to research showing just how easy stress and poor sleep can become a self-perpetuating loop. In a 2024 study of people with insomnia, tension and distress increased overnight, particularly after a worse night's sleep. Which points to a rather vicious little cycle: sleep badly and your nervous system can become more aroused; become more aroused, and you’re more likely to sleep badly again. And it’s at this point that your brain has essentially discovered a new hobby.
And, to no surprise - for women, there can be another layer: hormones. "During perimenopause, fluctuating oestrogen and falling progesterone can make staying asleep harder, while the risk of sleep apnoea also increases" - something Barnes-Lentz says is particularly easy to miss in women, who may experience insomnia, fatigue or low mood rather than the classic snoring stereotype.
So the dreaded 3 am wake isn’t a mystical message from the universe after all. It’s a concoction of biology, psychology and changing hormones - with our own brains sometimes adding an unnecessary subplot.
And then there’s the 3am TCM theory…
Of course, no investigation into the 3 am wake-up would be complete without asking what Traditional Chinese medicine makes of it. According to TCM practitioner, Maddy McCarthy, 3 am is significant for a very different reason: it’s considered the “hour of the liver.”
“In TCM, each two-hour period of the day is associated with a different Organ. Between 1am and 3am, that’s the Liver - traditionally understood to store Blood while we rest and anchor the Hun, or Liver spirit. If Liver Blood is deficient or Liver Qi is constrained, the theory goes, the Hun can become unsettled, leading to restless sleep, vivid dreams or waking.” says McCarthy.
And honestly, the idea of a wandering spirit feels oddly apt when you consider what happens next. You open your eyes and, within seconds your brain has located the thing: he hasn’t texted back. That email definitely sounded weird. Did that WhatsApp I sent my boss sound a bit too pass-agg? And while we’re here, let’s revisit something embarrassing I said in 2017.
McCarthy says this kind of racing, irritable wakefulness can point towards what TCM calls Liver Qi Stagnation, “waking with a jolt, feeling tense or irritable and finding that the mind goes straight into racing thoughts. Liver Blood deficiency, meanwhile, is traditionally associated with vivid or disturbing dreams and a more restless, fragmented quality of sleep.”
To be clear, this is a traditional framework, not a scientifically established explanation for 3 am waking. But whether you call it a Wandering Hun, an overactive nervous system or your brain choosing 3.14 am to conduct an unsolicited life audit, the experience is remarkably similar.
What can actually help you sleep through the night
Now, call me a hypocrite, but I must confess: during my many 3 am wake-ups, if I haven’t dropped back off within ten minutes, I reach for my phone. Automatically. Almost as if the tiny glowing rectangle beside my bed is going to deliver the answer to why I’m awake, or perhaps solve the existential crisis I’ve decided to have at 3.17 am. Of late, I’ve tried reaching for my Kindle instead - and, safe to say, it might be the best move I’ve made for my sleep. No notifications, no accidental 45-minute scroll through TikTok, no exposure to someone else’s holiday in Ibiza when I should be asleep. Just a book and, usually, a rather rapid return of the eyelids.
So, enough of the 3 am theorising - What we really want to know is: how do we get back to sleep - and, ideally, stay there?
First: stop checking the time. This is one of Troxel’s biggest pieces of advice. "If you wake up and don’t immediately fall back asleep, resist the urge to look at the clock." Knowing it’s 3:08 am might feel informative; knowing it’s now 4:17 am is generally just upsetting. The maths begins, the panic follows, and suddenly you’re calculating whether five hours and 43 minutes of sleep is technically enough to function. (Plot twist - it is not.)
Instead, if you’re awake for around 30 minutes plus, Troxel recommends getting out of bed and doing something quiet in the dim light: “reading a book is ideal - until you feel sleepy again. Then return to bed” The point isn’t to “try harder” to sleep; it’s to stop teaching your brain that bed is where we lie awake, frustrated and increasingly furious with our own nervous system.
This is also why cognitive behavioural therapy for insomnia is considered the gold-standard treatment for chronic insomnia. Rather than promising to hack your cortisol or sell you a magnesium powder with a suspiciously expensive price tag, it addresses the thoughts and behaviours that can keep insomnia going. “Poor sleep is not just an inevitable fact of life,” Troxel says. “There are effective treatments for sleep problems, and women do not need to simply suffer through them.”
Then: make your bedroom boringly sleep-friendly. One surprisingly important factor is temperature. Barnes-Lentz points out that our core body temperature needs to fall as we sleep, meaning a bedroom - or bed - that is too hot can work against us. "This may be particularly relevant during perimenopause and menopause, when temperature fluctuations and night sweats can turn an otherwise peaceful night into an impromptu sauna session," she says.
Barnes-Lentz uses an "Eight Sleep system", which actively regulates bed temperature throughout the night. "But you absolutely don’t need a high-tech mattress to take the principle seriously," she says. "Keep the bedroom cool, choose breathable bedding and, if hot flushes are part of your particular 3 am story, experiment with ways of managing temperature before reaching for a supplement promising to “balance” your hormones."
Read - I'm Peri-Menopausal & Tried The New Eight Sleep Pod - This Is What Happened
And finally: know when your 3 am wake-up deserves more attention. Occasional waking is normal. Regular lying awake for long periods isn’t something you simply have to accept as the price of adulthood. If disrupted sleep is persistent - particularly if it comes with snoring, gasping, hot flushes, restless legs, significant daytime sleepiness or fatigue - Troxel recommends speaking to a healthcare professional - “there may be an underlying sleep disorder or health issue worth investigating.”
Words by Ellie Hammond for The Well Edit.
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