Could Your Pelvic Floor Be Sabotaging Your Sex Life?
Raise your hand if your sex education lessons covered orgasms, pleasure and the role of the pelvic floor in sexual wellbeing. No? Thought so.
Instead, most of us were taught a fairly simple message: don't get pregnant, don't catch an STI and try not to die of embarrassment while your teacher demonstrates a condom application using a piece of fruit. Which is unfortunate, because emerging research suggests that one of the biggest missing chapters in women's sexual health education may have been sitting inside our pelvises all along.
After all, around 1 in 13 women in Britain experience persistent painful sex. Yet despite how common sexual pain, pelvic tension and difficulty reaching orgasm can be, conversations about the pelvic floor’s role in this, remain largely untouched.
For most women, the phrase “pelvic floor” tends to conjure up one of two images: either your mum reminding you to do your Kegels after having a baby, or an overly enthusiastic Pilates instructor commanding you to “zip up your core” while you quietly question your life choices.
What it probably doesn’t bring to mind is sex. Which, frankly, tracks with the quality of sex education most of us received. We learnt how not to get pregnant, how not to catch an STI, and perhaps how to awkwardly roll a condom onto a piece of fruit. What nobody thought to mention was that the muscles at the base of your pelvis play a major role in arousal, pleasure and orgasm.
And yet, according to pelvic health experts, these hammock-like muscles sitting at the base of the pelvis play a far bigger role in our sex lives than most of us have ever been taught. From arousal and lubrication to orgasm intensity and sexual comfort, the pelvic floor is intimately involved in how we experience pleasure. The problem? Most women don’t know that.
Instead, conversations about pelvic floor health have traditionally been confined to postnatal recovery, bladder leaks and the occasional awkward joke about sneezing after childbirth. Instead, symptoms that can have a huge impact on our sex lives - and yes, we're talking painful sex, reduced sensation, pelvic tension, struggling to orgasm, feeling like you constantly need the loo, or even feeling anxious about intimacy altogether - are often brushed off as stress, hormones, getting older, or simply "the way my body is now."
All of which leads me to say - if your pelvic floor has only ever entered the chat after childbirth or during a panic Google about bladder leaks, it might be time for a reintroduction. Because these overlooked muscles aren't just about continence - they're also deeply connected to pleasure, desire and sexual wellbeing.
Your Pelvic Floor Could Be Influencing Your Sex Life More Than You Realise
Most of us have never received a sex education lesson that included the words “pelvic floor” and “pleasure” in the same sentence. But according to Core LDN’s pelvic health specialist, Anna Wooley, these muscles play a fundamental role in sexual function.
"During arousal, blood flow increases to the pelvic region, contributing to vaginal lubrication and increased sensation," she explains. "The pelvic floor muscles also become more active as arousal builds. During orgasm, these muscles contract and relax, creating part of the pleasurable sensations."
What this means exactly is that your pelvic floor isn’t simply a passive bystander during sex - it’s actively participating. It’s a theory that’s increasingly being backed by research, too. Recent studies have linked healthy pelvic floor function with better arousal, stronger orgasms and greater sexual satisfaction - loudly suggesting that the muscles we’ve long associated with post-baby bladder leaks may have been influencing your sex life all along.
“When functioning well, the pelvic floor contributes to body awareness, sensation, comfort and sexual responsiveness,” says Wooley. “But, like any other part of the body, things can become dysregulated.”
As Wooley explains, if the muscles are too weak, women may experience reduced sensation during sex, difficulty achieving orgasm, or a feeling of less support within the pelvis. “In some cases,” she says, “this weakness can even contribute to discomfort or pain.”
At the other end of the spectrum, pelvic floor muscles that are overly tense or unable to relax can make sex physically quite painful. In her clinical practice, Wooley often sees women describe sensations of burning, aching, tightness or difficulty with penetration - all symptoms that are frequently attributed to everything except the pelvic floor itself.
Then there’s coordination. Pelvic floor muscles need to know when to contract, and as Wooley emphasises, crucially, when to let go. “If they're doing the opposite of what's required, sexual pleasure can become difficult, uncomfortable or both.”
Wooley’s words come as a strong reminder that when it comes to sexual wellbeing, stronger isn't always better. Sometimes, the body's greatest challenge is learning how to stop holding on so tightly.
Painful Sex, Bladder Urgency And Pelvic Tension Are Common - But They're Not Normal
Here’s the thing: pelvic floor dysfunction isn’t rare - it’s just wildly under-recognised. Many women live with symptoms for years without ever considering that their pelvic floor could be a part of the problem.
Wooley wants women to know that the symptoms - well, they can show up in surprisingly varied ways: pain during or after sex, difficulty inserting tampons, pelvic heaviness, bladder urgency, urinary leakage, constipation, lower abdominal or pelvic pain, pain when sitting for long periods, or simply feeling unable to fully relax the pelvic area.
The problem is that many of these experiences have become culturally normalised.
“Painful sex is often blamed on stress, hormones or relationships. Bladder leaks are dismissed as an inevitable consequence of childbirth. Constipation gets filed under "just one of those things." Persistent pelvic tension is written off as anxiety or a busy lifestyle.”
But as Wooley notes, while these experiences may be common, they are not necessarily normal, and neither should we be normalising them.
"I find it amazing how many women simply endure painful sex," says Wooley. "If a symptom is persistent, affecting your quality of life, or causing you to change your behaviour, it's worth seeking support."
So, we've established that most of us were never taught that our pelvic floor could influence our sex lives. The more important question is: what happens if it is?
As Wooley points out, many women experiencing sexual difficulties assume there’s something inherently wrong with them, rather than recognising that a treatable pelvic floor issue could be contributing to their symptoms. But dearest reader, there’s good news. Pelvic floor dysfunction is often highly treatable.
A pelvic health physiotherapist can help figure out what's actually going on, whether that's muscle weakness, excessive tension, poor coordination, breathing patterns, posture, movement habits, or a combination of factors. And treatment doesn't necessarily mean being sent home with a leaflet and told to do more Kegels. Depending on the issue, it can involve everything from pelvic floor rehabilitation and relaxation techniques to breathing exercises, movement strategies, bladder and bowel support, lifestyle advice and, when needed, working alongside GPs and other specialists.
Final Thoughts:
Perhaps the most important message of all, despite the promise of better orgasms, is this: if something doesn’t feel right, you don’t have to simply put up with it. Whether it’s pain, tension, urgency or a sense that pleasure doesn’t feel quite the way it used to, your body isn’t failing you - it may just be asking for a conversation we’ve avoided having for far too long.
Words by Ellie Hammond for The Well Edit.
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